Things I'm not allowed to do in World Meetings
by pigeons-and-duckies
Summary: Just as the title says, a list of things I'm not allowed to do in World Meetings.
1. Chapter 1

**I noticed a lot of _100 ways to (insert topic here)_ and _Things (insert character here) is not allowed to do_ s but I didn't see any quite like this, so I wrote one! Hope you like, and I'm sorry, but a bit of GerIta snuck in here like the slippery bastard that pairing is. Also, these are all my brain smoke, so please don't accuse me of stealing! *puts hands up***

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Hetalia, the Stereotype Song, or Canadian Please. But I do half-own a computer :D **

100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do In World Meetings!

**1. ****Switching America's coffee and Britain's tea only results in a black eye.**

Prussia grinned as he set the cup down, full of coffee. In his other hand he carried a slightly more clear liquid, one that belonged where the new cup was currently placed. Quickly, he set the one in his hand where the former was earlier and wiped his hands on his pants. America should be getting back from McD*nald's in fifteen minutes, Britain should be back from the washroom in ten.

This should be entertaining.

**2. ****Convincing Italy that yes, the cement is dry, isn't funny.**

**3. ****Once Germany gets there, that is.**

**4. ****Until then it's actually quite hilarious.**

Italy squirmed in the sticky gray substance that his boots were currently stuck in. _Fratello_ had said pasta was this way, and if the Northern half would please follow him down the stairs they should be there in no time. Romano had jumped over a particular slab but told his brother it was perfectly fine to walk on. Being the naive one he is, he stepped in it and watched as his brother sat on the sides and laughed.

Once Germany came though, Romano dashed faster than you could say "The British are coming!"

**5. ****I am not allowed to give Britain a rocket launcher (or any potentially lethal weapon) then let him loose on France.**

America ran away from Britain's front porch laughing. The new "tool" he left France should definitely even the score.

Nobody insults McD*nald's.

**6. ****Taking Romano's tomatoes either ends in failure or a meeting with Spain's battle axe**

All China wanted was a tomato, he was hungry and the meeting was far from over. And Romano had so many in front of him that he wouldn't miss one tomato, right?

But a deadly glare and the shine of sharp, polished metal from behind Romano's head stopped him in his tracks as he put the fruit down.

**7. ****I am not allowed to call Sealand Britain and America's love child.**

France was chased out of the conference room by an angered Brit who somehow got a rocket launcher and a speeding American who was giving Sealand a piggyback ride.

In a totally platonic not-father-son way.

**8. ****Replacing America's hamburger buns with scones is not a good idea.**

America spit out his burger onto the napkin and tried his best to wipe it off his tongue. "I'm gonna kill you England!"

**9. ****Throwing a sheet over Canada may seem like a good idea because it gets him attention.**

**10. ****But America screaming "GHOST!" over and over isn't the attention he wants.**

France noticed his former charge shivering, so naturally he went over to Canada to warm him up. Also, anyone seeing someone as beautiful as interacting with a nobody will automatically boost up their status.

But apparently, Canada wasn't cold and America really doesn't like sheets.

**11. ****I'm not allowed to give Belarus a marriage form with Russia's signature forged on it.**

"Brother, I picked out a dress. I even got you a tuxedo with the Belarusian flag as a pin on it. Aren't you excited?"

**12. ****I'm not to convince France that it is casual Friday**

France strolled in on Friday and looked around. Why was everyone wearing stuffy suits?

"Sealand, Latvia, cover your eyes!" Hungary put her hands over the two youngest nation's eyes and closed her own, trying to shuffle out of the room as soon as possible.

**13. ****Monster makeup is a no-no around Japan**

Japan screamed and ran from the conference room into the bathroom. How did such a scary creature know his name?

"I can't believe you fell for that!" America placed his hand on Japan's shoulder and wiped the blue makeup from his face. "What would something like that be doing in the conference room?"

Japan nodded weakly, his heart rate beginning to slow down.

America finished removing the makeup and walked out of the room throwing a final statement behind his shoulder, "Besides, things like that only live in your closet!"

**14. ****Japan's drawings are to remain private**

Romano stood shock-still in front of the open notebook. He hadn't meant to bump into it but he had and the book had landed open on the floor.

What did that sick bastard draw him and Spain doing?!

**15. ****Hungary's camera is hers alone, deleting any pictures means death by frying pan.**

Austria had been going through his former wife's camera when he found a picture of him playing the piano. After looking at it for a while, he noticed that his clothes were slightly rumpled and didn't portray him well.

When he was about to delete the picture, he pressed the next button on accident. So that day, a suspicious picture with Germany and Italy in it and another piano picture were deleted.

Austria was not heard from for a while.

**16. ****I'm not allowed to steal Turkey's mask and sing Phantom of the Opera.**

**17. ****Or steal his mask at all.**

Britain was shocked. Turkeys mask, just lying on the table. The olive green clad man was turned away, rubbing at his eyes with his hood up. What better opportunity?

"The Phantom of the Opera is there! Inside my mind!"

**18. ****Greece's cats are not to be taken. Or questioned.**

Turkey sat with a cat on his lap and stroked it slowly. One of Greece's, but it was always fun to mess with Herkales. Until, of course, he sneaks up behind you with a sharp-looking cross and a glint in his eye.

**19. ****I'm not allowed to play Austria's piano horribly, that will only result in a bloody frying pan.**

America smiled. He could play the piano; there was nothing a hero couldn't do! So he went up to the keyboard and begun smashing the keys randomly, the melody sounded pretty good to him. Sadly, the other nations couldn't seem to grasp the concept of such amazing, heroic music that all they could do was call it bad.

**20. ****Germany does not have a weird kink so I should stop giving Italy maid outfits.**

**21. ****Or so he says…**

Prussia laughed as Germany opened the package and gasped. Prussia himself had got the gift, and figured his little brother would love him for it. Anyone could hear what Germany mumbles in his sleep.

**22. ****I'm not to tell Prussia that Hungary is more of a man than he will ever be.**

Austria watched as Hungary beat up Prussia once again and went over. Rubbing a victory in Prussia's face was always a fun thing to do, even if it wasn't directly his win. But soon after delivering his hurtful statement, Austria was pulled to the ground by his ankle to immediately be sat on by Prussia.

**23. ****I am not to sneak up behind Latvia and whisper "boo" into his ear.**

**24. ****Same with America**

Prussia snuck up behind Latvia and crouched down, ready to deliver. He didn't know America, who was sitting next to the trembling country, would be so affected by a three letter word.

**25. ****I am not allowed to steal Sealand's country, no matter how easy it is.**

America sped off, "Pip-pip cheerio, and all that!" He sung in a horrible British accent as he went off into the sunset.

**26. ****It's not a good idea to teach Liechtenstein the 'birds and the bees'**

**27. ****Unless I'm really good at dodging bullets.**

France ran out of the house jumping every so often when a bullet would come close to him. "Don't come back or else I won't shoot to miss!" Switzerland shouted at the retreating form.

**28. ****Gilbird is not a ping-pong ball.**

**29. ****Even when it's a heated game against Hungary with pan-paddles.**

Spain and Hungary hit the 'ball' back and forth, hearing a satisfying clang once it hit their paddles. Spain was none-the-wiser to what they were really doing, just how Hungary liked it.

**30. ****I'm not allowed to let South Korea loose on France.**

**31. ****France will take the groping the wrong way and things will spiral downhill from there.**

"Oh, so that's how you like it. Come here, sit on France's lap." Said country patted his lap and smiled, making eye contact with South Korea.

"Umm… I need to go invent something!" With that, Korea dashed out of the room.

**32. ****Britain does not appreciate Fanfiction, it only makes him angry.**

"I-I don't like him t-that way!" Britain screamed and ran, leaving the offending site up on the screen.

**33. ****Hungary and Japan, however…**

Hungary and Japan giggled at the stories, scrolling through the many archives. "Japan, what did you call that show you made after us nations?" Hungary asked, looking for the name.

**34. ****Replacing all of Poland's pants with skirts isn't as problematic as planned.**

"Liet, did you get me this skirt? It's like, totally fabulous!" Poland twirled and admired himself in the mirror."

**35. ****Same stunt with Germany is hilarious though.**

"Wh-what the? Prussia!" Germany screamed and ran into the hall in only his pajama's

**36. ****I'm not allowed to deny how awesome Prussia is.**

Austria denied everything. Why would Prussia be awesome if his nation was dispersed at least 70 years ago? He couldn't understand how all that cockiness could stay with him even though he was done so long ago.

Prussia, of course, showed Austria's piano how awesome he was.

**37. ****I am not allowed to lock Britain and America in a closet and bet on who comes out alive.**

Britain pounded on the door. "This isn't funny! Let me out!" He screamed, punctuating each word with a thump.

"C'mon Britain, we can play UNO or something!" America said, just as loud, just with a more enthusiastic tone.

"Get me the hell out of here!"

**38. ****I am not allowed to ask Sweden for discounts on IKEA items.**

"C'mon Swede, I need a new couch!" Spain clasped his hands together and pouted, making puppy eyes. "I'll give you nice tomatoes!", he sing-songed, pulling a tomato out of seemingly nowhere and waving it in front of Sweden's face. This method always worked on Romano, so why not Sweden?

"I don't like tomatoes." Sweden said in monotone, before turning and walking away.

**39. ****I will not dub scones proper and useful weaponry in front of Britain.**

America took quick shallow breaths as he stared across the room. Britain was doing the same, taking a break from their little war. But slowly, Britain straightened out and charged, holding a scone above his head.

"This is for Britannica!" He yelled and threw the scone at America. The wayward food hit him in the stomach, and he immediately bent over, clutching his stomach.

"Dude, that's like being hit with a rock!"

**40. ****I am not to give America a cape; he is prone to jumping off buildings.**

**41. ****And no, that is not funny.**

"America-san, please come down from there! It's not safe!" Japan insisted, offering his hand to where America was standing on the railing of the balcony.

"No way dude, America backs out of nothing!" With that third person statement, America had jumped off a balcony to a ground ten feet below.

**42. ****Germany never has and never will throw a German Sparkle Party, no matter how many times I ask him to.**

Germany sighed, or rather, West sighed, as he had been spending more time with his brother. Who for some unbeknownst reason wanted to throw a Sparkle Party. Not a normal party, and apparently it's a "hardcore sparkle party", obviously _not_ for six year olds. But the party isn't happening in Ludwig's house, it's happening wherever on the streets Prussia happens to be.

**43. ****I'm not allowed to ask Canada how to become Canadian.**

**44. ****He has a song about it and will begin to sing.**

"Yeah, I know that you wanna be Canadian please, even if in the winter things tend to freeze. We got the world monopoly on trees an-" Canada sang, only to be cut off by an impatient American.

"Dude, I just wanted to know where you kept your maple syrup."

**45. ****Painting Switzerland's guns neon colors is a no-no**

Dutifully, Switzerland scrubbed his gun. The bright pink was coming off now, but there had to have been at least three coats earlier to have such a neon color that wasn't see-through.

But really, whoever did this was going to be the first one to hurt.

**46. ****I'm also not allowed to question his neutrality**

France strode up to Switzerland and but a hand on his shoulder, almost like an old friend. Switzerland tensed up, before twisting his head around. Before he could get a word in edgewise, France began talking. "How are you neutral if you always have a gun?"

"Because it works. Now go away." Switzerland said, restraining the ever-present urge to punch something.

**47. ****America inviting another country to Florida is innocent, no matter what I think the innuendo is.**

"Hey Britain, wanna go to Florida? It's beautiful this time of year!" America asked, spreading his arms as if expecting a hug. "N-no!" Britain stuttered then ran off, probably to cleanse himself.

"How about you Japan?" America turned around, but was disappointed to find that Japan had disappeared.

"France?" America said hopefully. "Yes, _mon ami_. That sounds good!"

**48. ****I am not allowed to moo while America is eating his burgers.**

"Moo." America stopped his chomping and looked around, eyes finally settling on France.

"What the heck man?"America asked, beginning to take another bite.

"Well, now you know how the cows sound." France said, crossing his arms.

**49. ****France's car is a car, not a rape van.**

"Is that Uncle France's car?" Sealand said excitedly, bouncing up and down. "Jerk Britain, can I go get in France's car?"

"No! Bad things happen in that car. Never ever get in a car with France!" Britain slung his arm around Sealand a pulled him away from the approaching car.

**50. ****Finland's dog cannot drive a flying sleigh, even if we train really hard.**

Prussia got on all fours beside the hyper dog. "C'mon buddy. If you just jump and do some of that magic stuff, we can hook you up to the sleigh and start Christmas early!"

**Review please:)**

***This is the 8-22-12 update, Hito Me Bore saved my story from being deleted by telling me lists were against the rules. So this turned into a twoshot, with little blurbs. Sorry if the little blurbs are no good, I can't even say I tried my best... At least the mods won't eat me! Sorry about any confusion!***


	2. Chapter 2

**Alright, I finally got this stuff done! Sorry if the blurbs aren't high quality, blah blah, yes, I do know that some of my mini paragraphs stray from the original point, blah blah. Either way, I typed this up and made it an even 100.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Hetalia… yet.**

**Leaving an unconscious Seychelles in a room with France isn't funny, even if I have cameras**

"Well, now that you are defenseless…" France trailed off, looking up and down the slumped over Seychelles. "Get off her!" Britain burst in the room and dragged out the girl, kicking France on the way out.

**Germany's flag is not copied off of Belgium's.**

**Same with Italy and Hungary.**

Italy clung onto Hungary, hugging her around her midsection. There were so many new rumors! Hungary in return patted his back, telling him it was alright. Her motherly instinct was taking over, and she wanted to hit someone with a pan really hard. But for now, she could only comfort the way overly sensitive Italian.

"It's okay, don't worry Italy. You won't get in trouble for copying."

**I am not allowed to say "Latin is a dead language" around Grandpa Rome.**

America and Grandpa Rome were involved in heavy conversation, something they could say didn't happen very often. But this was important, so both held their ground.

"Latin isn't dead, I speak it myself a bunch!" Rome pouted, crossing his arms.

"But dude, you are dead."

**Mentioning "Ninjas were way better than pirates" around Britain will be very entertaining, but the results are WW3**

Britain unsheathed his sword, getting ready for battle. His feather-topped hat was in place, as was his eye patch. He kept his eyes steadily trained on the figure in front of him clad in all black. A single blink could mean the sudden disappearance of Japan and a slice in his back. Britain smirked, this was a challenge, but not one he would lose.

Meanwhile, America, China, and France sat on the side eating popcorn. This was _way_ better than cable.

**Trying to clean the blood off Russia's pipe without permission will only end in more stains.**

"You are going to let go of that now, _da?" _Russia asked, turning around to where Lithuania was standing with a wet wipe circled around the taller nation's pipe. "Y-yes sir. I was only trying to help." Lithuania backed away quickly and out of sight.

**I am not allowed to trash Germany's kitchen.**

"PRUSSIA! THIS TIME I'M NOT GOING TO SPARE YOU!"

**I am not allowed to take up Italy's offer for football.**

America arrived at Italy's house in a helmet, pads, guards, and a jersey on top of all that. Meanwhile Italy waited for America in simple shin guards and socks. For a moment, they stood and stared, taking in the others odd get-up. Of course, America and Italy broke it with a laugh.

Simultaneously, "What are you wearing?"

**I am not allowed to ask Sealand if he needs his diaper changed.**

Sealand stood indignantly, trying (and failing) to stare Sweden down. Naturally, he lost and was forced to walk forward where Sweden was standing with a bag of Pampers. His arms were crossed and his legs were spread horseback style, a universal defense pose. But one more glare from Sweden broke his resolve as he changed tactics.

"I don't need my under things changed!" He cried, giving up the defense for a run, going as far out of sight as he could.

**Calling Britain and Romano tsunderes will only confuse them.**

"Oi, Japan! Today America called me a tsundere, what does that mean? He told me to ask you!" Britain addressed Japan, causing him to sweat. How to explain this…

**I'm not allowed to tell China that he is stealing other countries ideas**

"Hey China! I saw one of my Disney characters on an advertisement of yours the other day. What's with that?" America asked, claiming China's (angry) attention.

"She's not yours, she's mine!" China yelled, "So stop accusing me of things!"

**If I tell China that Shinatty-chan isn't cute, I should prepare for death by wok and ladle.**

"Hey, bastard, that cat looks really dumb. Why'd you make something like that?" Romano pointed over his shoulder with his thumb to where Shinatty-chan was standing. He turned his head around slightly and stuck his tongue out, to indicate disgust.

"What did you say?" China said slowly, beginning to pull a wok out from somewhere behind his back.

**Hong Kong's fireworks are not to be taken.**

**Or sold on the black market, for that matter.**

Prussia smirked as someone came up to where he was standing. The dark alleyway made his black trench coat even darker yet the one street light a few yards away made the glint in his red irises gleam. And as his "appointment" slowly brought their wallet out of their jacket, Prussia pulled out his side of the deal.

A mystery person was on the other end of this deal, but by the end of the transaction, the Germanic ex-nation had found out his true identity. He had just sold Hong Kong his explosives back.

**Just because Britain responds to 'old man' doesn't mean he likes it.**

**Same with "Eyebrows"**

"Hey! Old man, c'mere!" America called, jerking his hand back and forth in the universal sign for 'get over here'.

"I've told you more than once, don't call me that!" Britain complained, coming over nonetheless.

"Okay, fine Eyebrows."

**I am not allowed to impersonate countries by using horrible accents.**

"I do say, it is wonderful weather we are having here, pip pip!" America paced in circles with his nose towards the sky. His voice was in a stuffy, British accent. Following him in circles was none other than France, who was walking in a similar fashion.

"I must agree with you, fine sir. Cheerio!" France said in the same horrible accent. Meanwhile, Britain watched from the doorway with a dark aura surrounding him.

"Want to say that to my face?" He mumbled darkly.

**If Italy says he doesn't like wurst, he means the food.**

**However if he says that he likes it, chances are it's not the food.**

"Fratello, yesterday I had some German wur-" Italy was cut off by his brother slamming his hand against the desk. "I don't care about how much the wurst sucked, that's what you always tell me! I'm tired of hearing about that bastard's food!" Romano yelled, emphasizing with a _thump_ every so often.

"B-but Romano! This wurst was _really _good!"

**I am not allowed to give America a King sized Hershey's bar then set him loose on the other nations.**

France snickered as he turned the hypothetical wheel on America's back. A wheel activated by too much sugar, too little time. And three or four chocolate bars could do the trick anyday.

"Alright, America, go in there and make Papa proud!" With that, he was turned loose and he ran to where Britain was. _Ahh, _he mused, _I can hear the screaming from here!_

**Releasing a hoard of fangirls on them is wrong. **

**Especially if I am paid.**

"Alright girls, sic em!" Prussia let loose a gaggle of girls, who immediately high-tailed it to where the conference was being held. Earlier, he had gathered the good folks at an Anime Con and told them that if he got beer money, he would bring them to where the real countries were. Naturally, they agreed and now, here they were, getting autographs. All's well that ends well!

**Finding a way to raise the price of groceries in Switzerland will only anger him.**

Switzerland glared at the offending price tag. Yesterday, he could have sworn it was half this much! Cheese was getting way too expensive, almost to a point that he was going to go somewhere else to buy his groceries. But that would be wasting gas money, which is almost as bad as double-priced cheese. Basically, Switzerland was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

**I am not allowed to give Hungary a Cloak of Invisibility or any such spying equipment.**

There it was again! The stupid footsteps! Germany knew he heard them, but it could have just been his imagination. But when there are two more sets and the shutter of a camera flash, he knew it had to be real. But nothing was around him! Well, nothing except an Italian hanging from his arm and blubbering some nonsense.

Who was taking pictures of him!?

**I am not to fuel an argument between Britain and America over whose dialect of English is better.**

Britain huffed, stomping his foot. Another useless argument with America, and they both knew that England was obviously going to win. "I created the bloody language, what makes you think yours is better?"

"Uhh, everything! At least we use the letter z over in the states! Ya'll just replace all of your z's with s' and add a u anywhere possible! Why?!" America yelled, making a somewhat valid point for once. Damn.

**I am not to steal Kumajiro.**

**On a similar note, polar bears are not a proper form of transit.**

"America, please. Get off the bear!" Canada whispered as loud as he could. His idiotic brother had donned a cowboy hat and taken to riding Kumajiro. Who was, for some unknown reason (probably treats) complying and moving for America. Honestly, what an idiot.

**Any peculiar strands of hair are off limits to touch.**

"By the way, Italy, what does this do?" Germany asked, pulling Italy's outstanding hair curl. He heard a small noise from Italy, hardly noticeable. It sounded like pleasure, of some sort, so he kept pulling. The noises became louder the harder he pulled. How odd.

After a while of amusing himself with Italy's curl, he heard another camera flash from seemingly nowhere. _Again!?_

**Allowing a bunch of turtles to take over another restaurant will make Spain happy, but most likely piss Romano off.**

"Hey, Spain, I heard you liked turtles! Lately my beaches have been having a really good hatching season, and I figured you might want some!" America shoved a paper bag (that was oddly pulsing) into Spain's hands. The Spaniard's face lit up as he clutched the creatures close. "First, you give tomatoes, and now this? _Gracias!_"

When Spain brought them home, he set them on the floor for a minute so he could find a tank for them. But while he was gone, Romano happened to stumble upon them also, in the form of finding one on the leg of his pant.

"CH-CHIGII!"

**I am not allowed to ask Ukraine if those are real.**

Ukraine felt a small tug on the bottom of her shirt, but she looked down she could only see the edge of a slightly familiar sailor hat. But when the micro-nation moved back, she could tell it was Sealand, the little guy who would always sneak into the meetings.

"How did you get them so big?" Sealand asked, whispering the next part, "Did ya cheat?"

**No matter how tempting it is, I am not allowed to ribbon dance with Russia's scarf.**

With a quick tug, Russia's scarf came off and unraveled into Belarus' waiting hands. Finally, all hers! She could smell him in it, oh beautiful smell! It was so lovely and so easy to move that before she knew it, she was spinning it, bringing it in every so often just to catch a whiff. How wonderful it was to see the gray fabric on the tip of her fingers and fluttering in the wind! Wonderful!

**Sweden does not "just need a hug" so I should stop initiating them.**

"Su-san! We are all part of a family! We even got Iceland to call us brothers. You should let me hug you!" Finland said, spreading his arms wide so Sweden could come in.

"Fine, but only you, wife." Weakly, he spread his arms so there was about six inches of space from his hip to where his hand was. Finland rushed forward and hugged him, not even minding the name.

**If I steal German beer or Russian vodka, I should be prepared for a sudden, painful death.**

"West! I think someone stole our beer!" Prussia called in a very noticeably fake distressed voice. In (mock) horror, his hand was over his mouth as he pointed to the empty cooler. Germany rushed down, knowing full and well who stole the beer.

"Very well, I'll buy some more." Germany played along, turning back into the house to get his keys. _Sweet, he fell for it! _Prussia mused, proud of his little prank.

Meanwhile, a certain German was calling a Hungarian, arranging a "playdate"

**Poland may be like a girl sometimes, but he is surprisingly strong. So don't steal his nail polish.**

"Like, Liet! Where's the pink?" Poland jumped up. His search through the make-up drawer had been fruitless, the closest color to pink he could find was raspberry, and that totally wouldn't do.

"I umm… I didn't think you needed it… I threw it away…" Lithuania stood awkwardly in the doorway, running his hands through his hair. Slowly, Poland turned around and made eye-contact with him, smiling in a way strikingly similar to Russia's.

"Is that so?"

**I am not allowed to paint wings on pigs because Germany said he would only kiss Italy when pigs fly.**

"Japan, I have the livestock, do you have the paint?" Hungary opened the door for her new friend, not bothering to say hello. They had other things to deal with. "Yes I do, Hungary-san. I also brought a voice recording of him saying it so he can't get out of it."

"Excellent." Hungary smirked, rubbing her hands together.

**I am not allowed to capture Flying Mint Bunny.**

France crouched, feeling around for something. Britain was just in here with his friends, playing tag or something. But when Britain left, he said goodbye, which meant the creatures were still in here. So there France was, trying to capture a flying bunny.

Eventually, he felt a force of some sort run into his head, giving away its position. France quickly swung the jar around, feeling satisfied when the jar moved in his hands. Perfect.

**I am not to put the volume of my phone's ring tone on loud and have it go off during the meeting.**

**Especially if it is an offensive song.**

"_-And the crooked ass teeth of an English dude, and those creepy Italians who, think they're smooth. *mamma mia* And how could anyone hate the French, yeah I know their hairy woman don't shave their p-" _At that point, the ringtone cut off leaving the room in dead silence. For two seconds, everyone just stared at the ex-nation culprit, Prussia. Sheepishly, he began to put his phone back in his pocket. Before he could do anything though, France, Britain, and Romano were charging at him, out for blood.

**Running up to Canada and yelling "I'm gonna call Ghostbusters on your ass!" will not go over well.**

America boldly walked up to Canada, holding his phone in his hand. He didn't stop as he whispered something that not only Canada could hear, and kept on. "I couldn't hear you! Could you repeat yourself?" Canada asked, shout-whispering.

"Fine, spirit." America turned around and made eye-contact with Canada, who had visibly paled. "Today, you are gonna get ghost busted!" America screamed before running out, quickly typing numbers into his phone.

**Showing Germany GerIta Fanfictions will not get the reaction that I wanted.**

"Wh-what is this stuff?" Germany shrunk back from the computer, turning his bright red cheeks away. "I don't think about him that way!" He screamed, slamming the laptop before leaving.

On the way out, he left Hungary in the dark, who sat there and _tsk_ed. "Denial, denial."

**I should not give Belarus a ladder because she will use it for evil.**

Belarus leaned down, her hair falling to gravity and hanging straight down. Her whole upper body was positioned off the roof, she was hanging by only her feet digging into the shingles. She watched as Big Brother sat and innocently ate his piroshky, not expecting an aerial attack.

But be ready Brother, because today things are changing for the better.

**I am not to kick Poland where it counts "just to make sure"**

**Because it, "Like, totally hurts!"**

Sometimes, the other nations really wondered about Poland. Why would a boy nation like wearing skirts? Not even the girl nations were particularly fond of dresses and other such things. Yet for some reason, when Belarus finally gave in and hit Poland where the sun doesn't shine, he actually responded by going into fetal position and called out to Lithuania for ice.

**England's friends aren't real, so I shouldn't encourage him.**

Denmark snickered at Britain's naivety. For some reason, England and Norway both saw "faeries", and Denmark had made it his personal mission to trick them. And England seemed desperate enough for friends that anyone who came up to him and says, "I see them too." Would get a special place in his heart.

So while Denmark "played with the faeries" Norway watched from a distance, doubtful. If Denmark could see the mythical creatures, he wouldn't be stepping on a leprechaun.

**I will not side with America in arguments concerning who drives on the "right" side of the road.**

**Or participate, for that matter.**

"You git, you are the only one who drives on that side of the road, why do you continue to think you are right?" Arthur exclaimed, standing tall. He had all of Europe on his side, there was no chance of America winning this.

"Canada drives on the right side of the road! Wait, where's Canada?"

**I am not allowed to sit in Finland's lap and tell him what I want for Christmas**

"Okay, I really want another pony. And a skirt, or anything pink at all. Or a pre-paid credit card. Some more pink nail polish," Poland directed a glare at Lithuania, "and a cell phone case! That would be totally awesome!" He climbed off Finland's lap, who then looked out at the long line of nations still in line for presents. It was going to be a busy season.

**Giving Prussia Peeps is cruel.**

Gilbird landed on the window sill with a small parcel in his mouth and pecked on the window. When Prussia heard his chick pecking, he stood up and opened the window, taking the package from Gilbird's mouth. "From Hungary" he read out loud, tearing the wrapping paper.

"What is this?! Gilbird, don't look!" Prussia immediately dropped the marshmallow treats and scooped up his bird, taking him somewhere safer.

**I am not allowed to narrate everything that happens during the meeting through a microphone.**

"And we are back, to the live coverage of the nations. I am the one, the only, the America! Hold your applause please!" America stood up; talking into a microphone he seemed to have gotten from nowhere. "Britain, my co-host may have a few things to say, go on Eyebrows."

"Don't call me that! Now sit down and stop your incessant blabber!" Britain said angrily, trying to knock the mic out of America's strong grip fruitlessly.

"That was Britain! Now back to the broadcast! Germany is standing up and walking right towards me, he looks a little angry. Oh, crap he's gonna- ACK!" The microphone clattered to the ground while Germany 'restored order'.

**I am not allowed to show Japan's drawings and writings to the Bad Touch Trio.**

"Oh hon hon, he draws me so very well! It just captures my pure beauty!" France posed dramatically, sparkles surrounding him. Next, the journal was passed to Prussia. "Ooh, so that's what West wants to do with Italy, huh?" He snickered and passed it next to Spain. "Aww, look at Lovi~! He's so cute, especially posed like that!" For the last part, he got a look that rivaled even France's best rape looks.

_They found my books, they found my books, oh crap, they found my books!_

**Review please:)**


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